Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Man of the House

It`s always kind of bugged me when Telemarketers call my home and ask for "the man of the house" , mainly because I trust my wife to answer any questions or make decisions regarding long distance savings, credit card approval, home security and whatever else the jackals are selling. I trust her so implicitly that it goes beyond the trust I have in myself when it comes things like this. I've been known to utter the words "a free phone? and all I have to do is extend my contract for another 15 years? sweet deal." However in the Bible it seems that the husband is called to be the head of the household. Now a lot of guys when they think on this get filled with dreams of wives waiting on them hand and foot in only an apron and high heels, and they tend to like to throw around verses like Ephesians 5:22 where it says "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the LORD." However, that verse when used in proper context adds some perspective onto the actual role of a husband. If we look at the verses directly before and after 5:22 it says "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the LORD, for the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which he is the Savior."
Now that puts husbands in a very unique and difficult situation. Although we are all to strive to be more Christ-like, this verse then puts husbands in an extra sub-category of Christ-likeness that should scare most men. Firstly, Christ was brutally honest, about everything, secondly he died for the church, and thirdly (women your going to love this) in both Matthew 20:28 and Mark 10:45 it says "For the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many"
When I first got married people would ask me dating or marriage advice, and my main response was "Just don't call her a bitch. Name calling is bad." And although name calling is bad I soon discovered that marriage was so much more than not calling your wife a bitch. It's clear from scripture that the role of a husband is a role of faithfulness, servitude, honesty, honour, protection and holiness. And near as I can tell we have been messing this up from day one. Venture back in time with me as we look at the first married couple, Adam and Eve. Now Eve often gets blamed for the fall of man, but I think that is mainly by people who haven't read past the first two books. In Number chapter 30:10-15 it says " 10 If a woman living with her husband makes a vow or obligates herself by a pledge under oath 11 and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her and does not forbid her, then all her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand. 12 But if her husband nullifies them when he hears about them, then none of the vows or pledges that came from her lips will stand. Her husband has nullified them, and the LORD will release her. 13 Her husband may confirm or nullify any vow she makes or any sworn pledge to deny herself. 14 But if her husband says nothing to her about it from day to day, then he confirms all her vows or the pledges binding on her. He confirms them by saying nothing to her when he hears about them. 15 If, however, he nullifies them some time after he hears about them, then he is responsible for her guilt."
This demonstrates a husbands obligation to his wife. Firstly, upon closer examination of Adam and Eve we see that Eve was deceived, not Adam, had he taken the opportunity to rebuke her, the fall may never have happened, but because he stayed silent he confirmed her sin (and then took part in it). Secondly, from the passage in Numbers we see that it is clearly the husbands duty to take responsibility for his wife's actions (especially when he has consented her decision to sin) but when God shows up Adam does two things; he hides, and he invents blame-shifting. In Genesis 3:10-12 it says

10 He (Adam) answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

11 And he (God) said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"

12 The man said, "The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."

The Catholics believe that sin is transferred "semenally". Maybe that's why we all seem to blame God for problems that we bring on ourselves. It appears to me that God gave Adam several opportunities to get out of the fall. First: If Adam didn't eat the fruit. Second: If Adam confessed on behalf of him and his wife for eating the fruit and accepting the consiquenses. Third: If Adam hadn't strait up blamed God and his Wife for the trouble in his life. If any of the three a fore mentioned things had happened, who knows, we might all still be naked vegetarians hanging out with God.

It seems the bottom line is, we need to man up. Husbands are the representatives of Christ in a marriage, while wives are representing the Church and the nations. When you look at it in that light, no matter what, wives are holding up their end of the bargain. Are we? This then is a charge to all married men, and all men who will soon be married. Live in servitude to your wife, love her as Christ loves the church, honour your vows to respect her in everything you do. Take note from Corinthians 7:1-7 (the whole chapter is good, but long so read it yourselves!)

1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.a]">[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Just remember what Proverbs 18:22 says "22 He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the LORD"

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