Tuesday, July 21, 2009

honesty and weird dreams.

I've been having a rough time of things lately. But I started this blog to be honest, and there's no point being honest about the good stuff if I'm not honest about the bad. I've been having a hard time with my thoughts lately, namely keeping them Christlike. I find I'm getting more and more frustrated with myself because my thoughts keep going back to sinful things. I don't meditate on them, but it's frustrating to have them go there. Manly gossip or slander, occasionally lust. The most frustrating part is I know how to over come all of this and I'm too stubborn to go there. I never had these problems when I did a daily morning devotional and prayer time. I stopped asking God to guide my footsteps and it seems he has. I feel too busy. Not that I am, I have time to watch TV in the morning, I have time to Blog. I have time to pray I just don't take it. Two verses I need to live:

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Joshua 1:8
Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

Two Verses I Need to Trust:

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Philippians 1:3-6
3I thank my God every time I remember you. 4In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

I had a weird dream last night. I have these every once in a while, scary, nightmarish, almost prophetic dreams that leave me rattled. Whenever I wake up from them I feel like I've been release from a paralysis.

In the dream I ran into Carlos Whittaker who writes a Blog called Ragamuffin Soul. He needed to use my cell phone and he needed a ride, so I let him drive my car. We were driving by Lake Ontario (that might sound weird but I live right by there so it's familiar territory to me) and some one called my name. I told Carlos to stop the car, and there was this guy there trying to pee on the car. He wasn't the one who called my name. I told Carlos to move the car over more towards a girl and a guy who were digging in some sand. They were the ones who called me. He moved the car, and the guy followed us to pee on the car. When question on if he needed to pee on the car he said "yup." I ignored him and walked towards the diggers. I thought I recognized the girl, but as I got closer I realized I didn't. They also stopped speaking in human voices and now sounded like demons. They kept digging a hole, putting a seed in, filling the hole with sand again, then patting it down, then in the same spot would do the whole thing over. When I asked them what they were doing they laughed (still in demon voices) and said "We're planting a church." then I woke up. I have no idea what it means. I am open to interpretations if anyone has one. Interpreting dreams is not my gift, but discernment is, so if you think you have an interpretation, I will be able to discern whether it is from God or not. anyways, that's it.

Quid Pro Quo: You pray for me, I'll pray for you.

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