We live in a sex driven society, there is no getting around that. Sex is portrayed as this empowering, wonderful thing, and in some respects it is, but not in the way we think. Having grown up in a Christian home, and having attended church my whole life I've had the notion that you need to save yourself for marriage pretty much shoved down my throat, and I don't disagree with that. What parents and pastors are bad at however, is explaining why. It is imperative to save ones self for marriage, and the reason for this is sex IS a marriage, it is the giving of ones self over completely to the other person, to become completely vulnerable and be completely accepted by someone and to completely accept them back. Sounds amazing doesn't it? It is. Now I do want to make something clear, sex is a marriage, however a marriage is not necessarily sex. There is much more that goes into a marriage, but my point is that when you have sex, whether you are married to the person or not, you engage in a physical agreement, a commitment to the other person. There is no such thing as sex without emotion, and if you've had it then I would be forced to assume that you are in someway emotionally handicapped.
The truth is, sex is not the steamy, sexy, charismatic thing that you see in the movies. It is often awkward, usually messy and not always mutually satisfying, which is why God intended it to be with someone you love, someone who loves you. Someone who can see you at your most vulnerable and embarrassing and embrace you with love and respect, and the truth is that can't be achieved with someone you are not in a committed relationship with.
I have some friends who have had a lot of hurt introduced into their lives recently due to poor decisions made by either themselves or their partners in terms of sex. I have other friends who had their hurt long ago.
Sarah and I both forgave each other our pasts before we had even considered marriage. A few months back however I had this revelation, this realization of how much I loved her, and how I had wronged her, before I even met her, through the decisions I had made is past relationships, and so I apologized, and she forgave me again. We have a duty to our future spouses; Our duty is to abstain from sexual immorality. We need to abstain to show our respect to our spouses, you are their future property and you should respect that. You should also when you are with your future spouse, respect that they still belong to God, and are his property, and you wouldn't want to abuse that.
It's a messy, heartbreaking, wonderful subject. It's a sexy calamity the likes of which mankind will never get over. It's sex.