14 "You shall not commit adultery."
Where do I start with this one? It seems like it should be easy, just keep it in your pants right? But this is an issue that most guys, and most girls struggle immensely with. It could be that we live in a society that seems to be fueled by sex. We have this urge to be independent that isolates us so that the only time we feel loved or accepted is when we're having sex. TV and movies are filled with people engaged in adulterous behavior, advertisements on buses, in magazines, even in some free newspapers are specifically geared to trigger lust. It is impossible to escape it.
But why is it bad? I mean, sex feels good right? Well, aside from the risks of STD's and STI's, pregnancy etc. The bible has more than a few things to say about it.
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Older translations say "will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife..." which paints sort of a graphic picture. But the part I want emphasis on in the last bit, "They will become one flesh." This is a clear statement, that when sexual intimacy occurs there is a uniting of the two parties. In first Corinthians 6 it says this:
1 Corinthians 6:16
16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body?
If you are married and you have an extra marital affair with someone, you then become married to that person, maybe not in the traditional sense of marriage that we have in North America, but in the literal definition of the word marriage, which is the joining of two things together.
One of our biggest downfalls in North America is our sense of love. We have no idea what it means to love. Some blame the English language for only having one blanket word for all the different forms of love. I blame tv, movies, fairy tales and ignorance. I had a friend who was cheating on his wife, when I asked him why, he said "I'm in love with this other woman..." I tried to explain to him that there is no such thing... There is attraction, there is infatuation, but there is no "in love" at least not in the way that we think. To be "in love" as the words describe would be in the constant act of love. Love not being a feeling, but rather a choice. You choose to love someone by choosing each day to treat them with respect, honour them, listen the what they have to say, do nice things for them and participate in your relationship. If you are not doing these things then you are not in love. And I can guarantee you that if you are in love, then you won't find yourself looking elsewhere for love and gratification. If you are doing these things for the one you love, they will do similar things for you, and the cycle begins to grow.
In Proverbs 6 it says
"32 But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;
whoever does so destroys himself."
Adultery is not just something that effects married men, if you are unmarried and having sexual relations you are still committing adultery. God has a plan for your life, some one he wants you to be with, or maybe he wants you to be happily single, either way, when you sleep with someone you are not meant to be with you are robbing yourself of God's riches for you, and you are robbing your spouse of their rights. Furthermore, if you are dating the person you are meant to be with, don't you think you owe it to them and to God to wait? They are not yet yours. In 1 Corinthians 6:19 it says "19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself,"
The issue goes much deeper than this however, Jesus says this in Matthew 5:27-28
27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Kind of shoots down the "It doesn't hurt to look" theory. I can't even count the amount of women I've committed adultery with because of stray thoughts...
A lot of people will tell you that adultery is bad, but not many people are ready with an answer of how NOT to do it, or better yet how to get back on the straight and arrow if you HAVE committed adultery. Many people, after messing up, have an attitude of "well, I guess it doesn't matter now..." and then they think it's okay, or doesn't matter if they keep going on their current path. But God wants you back, we serve a God of forgiveness and grace. Thank God for grace. After all, Jesus forgave the adulterous woman.
3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.
4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
11 “No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
Jesus wants to forgive you too. But how do you live afterward? How should you conduct yourself? The verse I sited earlier from 1 Corinthians 6 has some good advice.
1 Corinthians 6:15-17
15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.
So be joined to the Lord, be in communion with him, walk in his perfect will and trust his plan for your life.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
So go, be joined to Christ, and sin no more.